There is a dim purpose for Billie Eilish’s signature search.

The Grammy-profitable eighteen-year-old says she typically doesn’t sense beautiful to the individuals she dates, and as a outcome, dresses in saggy garments.

“Here’s a bomb for you: I have under no circumstances felt wished-for,” Eilish tells GQ in an job interview printed Thursday. “My previous boyfriends under no circumstances made me sense wished-for. None of them. And it’s a significant thing in my existence that I sense I have under no circumstances been bodily wished-for by somebody.”

In response to this, the singer dresses in garments that don’t exhibit off her system, in purchase to conceal it from the world and its judgments.

“I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you fellas — I mean anyone, everybody — judging it, or the measurement of it,” says Eilish.

Some times, although, she feels self-assured ample to make an exception: “But that doesn’t mean that I will not wake up a single working day and make your mind up to dress in a tank top rated, which I have completed ahead of.”

Eilish has been tight-lipped about her adore existence due to the fact getting to be popular. But she’s recently devoted more focus to problems of system impression. She took to YouTube in May, publishing a now-viral limited film identified as “Not My Duty,” depicting her almost completely eliminating her black tank top rated. The response to the film was not specifically astonishing — but she was Ok with it, she explained.

“Well, I do that and all of a sudden my boobs are trending on Twitter. Which is good — that s–t seems to be superior,” the “Bad Guy” singer explained to GQ.

The slut-shaming that followed Eilish publishing a uncommon swimsuit photograph, nevertheless, was a lot less encouraging. “There had been comments like, ‘I don’t like her any more for the reason that as shortly as she turns eighteen she’s a whore.’ Like, dude. I just can’t earn,” she explained to Dazed journal right after the January incident.

Her wardrobe has hence grown into a spectrum of designs so she can dress to fit her everyday mood, but the huge vary of seems to be she athletics also tends to make her sense trapped.

“Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And occasionally I sense trapped by this persona that I have developed, for the reason that occasionally I think individuals watch me not as a female,” she says.

Even though her romance with her system is complicated, she also feels empowered by the control she appreciates she has over it, and how a lot of it she desires to exhibit to the general public.

“[My] system is mine and yours is yours. Our own bodies are form of the only authentic matters which are really ours. I get to see it and get to exhibit it when I want to,” she says.

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Billie Eilish attends the 62nd Yearly Grammy Awards at Staples Heart on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles.FilmMagic